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You did it! You finally decided to take the plunge and give up meat forever. The compassion you feel for animals, your fellow man and the environment will be felt by those for miles around you. People will look at you and say, "There goes a person who really respects life. What a hero!" You will be awarded the Citizen of the Year award for your community. Your parents will beam with pride, and your friends will call you constantly, just so they might be seen in your presence.

A likely story? Not on planet Earth. Let's face it, when you become a vegetarian, family and friends may be less than enthusiastic. After all there are few social situations that don’t involve food, and in our culture that usually means meat. Your vegetarian lifestyle could cause some inconvenience, to say the least. Your Mom will worry about how to rearrange her Christmas dinner menu to accommodate your new diet. Uncle Nat will be ticked off when he finds out that his best fishing buddy isn’t so enthusiastic about the trip this year. You may feel a little awkward trying to explain to your workmates that you don’t eat meat any more after they’ve just thrown a 12 oz. T-bone on the grill at your surprise party.

Becoming vegetarian, you might expect, would have people applauding your selfless contribution to global ecology, but instead it often makes them uncomfortable. This discomfort may not be all bad; it could get people thinking more carefully about their own food choices. But then again, you'd probably rather be laughing with the people you care about than causing them discomfort.

Your vegetarian diet could make your family feel as though you are turning your back on their values and traditions. Food has always been an important aspect of socializing in any culture. You have created a separation in one area that your parents thought would always bind you together. This can be very difficult for loved ones to understand.

Friends and acquaintances might perceive your vegetarianism as a judgment on their choices. Those who have not been exposed to many vegetarians may feel alienated from you because your food choices are so different.

It is quite possible that your decision to cut meat from your menu becomes a source of anxiety and frustration, particularly when you are among a group of omnivores. Thankfully, it doesn't have to be that way.

Rather than causing tension for you and those around you, your vegetarian diet can help you share a whole new world of valuable experiences. Much depends on your attitude, humor, and social diplomacy.

This chapter will guide you through a variety of social experiences that are common to vegetarians and boost your level of comfort and confidence. It is divided into three parts:

Part 1: Questions That Face Vegetarians on a Regular Basis

Part 2: Challenging Situations

Part 3: Guidelines for Getting Along

Your reactions and responses could change the way the people around you perceive ‘the vegetarian’.

Part 1: The Questions
One of the interesting aspects of becoming a vegetarian is hearing the questions of those who are somewhat mystified by your choice. Your answer to each person’s question will depend, at least in part, on the situation and how the question is asked. Many people have a real interest in your experience; you may wish to make a well thought out and meaningful response, share a few practical pointers, or discuss insights into the real connections between our food choices and environmental or health issues. Still other people may just be kidding around, and in that case it would be fun to come back with an appropriately light-hearted response.

The questions most commonly posed to vegetarians are "What do you eat?" and "Why are you a vegetarian?" Answers given in Becoming Vegetarian range from serious to short, sweet and funny responses that can take the edge off a difficult situation. The range of possible responses can also help you to frame answers that are particularly meaningful for you.

Part 2: Situations
In Becoming Vegetarian, you are invited to put yourself in several challenging social situations (listed below) and consider the selection of responses offered in the text. How do you think you would react? The probable outcomes for each reaction are also discussed, giving you support for handling such occasions in an effective and positive manner.

Challenging Situations Which Are Discussed in Becoming Vegetarian: (see book for details)

1. Wife and mother turning vegetarian without family support.

2. Invitation to another person's home for dinner.

3. Restaurant without vegetarian options on the menu.

4. Inviting out-of-town work work associates to dinner.

5. Making a celebration dinner for your extended family.

6. Teen getting razzed about wearing leather shoes.

7. Your first business convention as a vegan.

Part 3: Guidelines for Getting Along

1. Care about animals, the environment, and your fellow man.
Your concern for animals demonstrates a deep reverence for life and a gentle heart. Your concern for the environment shows understanding of the fragility of our precious earth. Balance these qualities with love and respect for your fellow man. Remember that every person, regardless of their occupation or their interests, has something of value to offer.

2. Take the time to listen to other people, and lift them up with your words.
It is easy to pass judgment on someone without real understanding. By listening, not only will you get to know them better, but you can give support and encouragement. You will probably learn something. Though you may find it distressing that everyone is not making food choices that are kind to their own health, the environment and animals, putting people down does nothing but hurt them, and push them away. Instead, try to lift people up with your words.

3. Share your experiences in a positive way.
In our society, where meat is front and center of most social interactions involving food, the vegetarian can feel a little intimidated. Think of people like George Bernard Shaw and Gandhi who made the same choice as you. Rather than retreating from social interaction, go forth proudly, as a vegetarian with something to share.

Inspire others with your example of healthy living. Bring a delicious vegetarian, ethnic dish to the staff party. Share recipes and books. Invite friends for a great vegetarian meal or to join you for a vegetarian cooking class.

4. Learn to laugh at yourself, and some of the predicaments you get yourself into.
You can go through life with a sour and serious view of just about everything, or you can take a step back and realize that there is a little humor in most awkward situations. Loosen up, and laugh a little. It will likely add as many years to your life, as your vegetarian diet. Although it may not be easy, try to forgive and forget. People often speak before thinking, and hurt others, sometimes without even realizing it. Holding a grudge will not make you feel better, only more stressed.

5. Realize that you can't always make perfect choices.
Think about your goals in life, and set some priorities. For many, the number one priority is the people we love. As a vegetarian, you have likely made a lifestyle choice that is very different than the rest of your family. If you choose to forgo meat and/or dairy foods completely, realize that it will have to become a priority, and you will often have to plan ahead, to check with restaurants and conferences, to let friends and family know when you will be sharing a meal with them, and to bring a few appropriate foods along with you on some occasions.

6. Become well informed.
Read all you can, take courses, go to lectures, and listen to all kinds of opinions about vegetarian-related issues. You get a good confidence boost, and be able to handle questions and concerns in a clear and logical manner.

To order "The New Becoming Vegetarian", 2003, click here.